Sunday, October 30, 2011

How Can You Move On When She's Still In Your Life?

Moving on after an unwanted breakup is hard to do in the best of circumstances. You know, when you part ways and can go for a long period of time without being faced with her each and every day. It's even harder when you must face each other day in and day out once the breakup has happened.

She may have had time to come to terms with the fact the relationship has ended. It was her decision to end things after all. But you're still trying to get your bearings. Every time you bump into her it feels like you've just been sucker punched. You want to move on and put the past behind you, but how do you do that when she's not exactly in your past?

Working together or living a lifestyle that keeps you together after a breakup can be extremely difficult for the one who didn't want things to end. There are a lot of unresolved issues, more than a little bit of hurt, and even some amount of anger to deal with. It makes the situation even worse when you can't really express how you feel and still have to deal with the constant reminder of what is lost to you.

How do you cope in a situation like this?

Consider a Change

If there is ever a time to consider big changes in your life, this is one of those times. If you're working with your ex, then it's time to consider changing jobs or, perhaps, even careers.

It's always wise to do a little bit of a self-evaluation after a breakup. You know, take time to see where you are right now compared to where you thought you'd be by now and how that ranks with where you want to be right now. No, I'm not talking about where you'd like to be as her boyfriend but were you'd like to be as an individual man.

Are you doing the job you always wanted or did you settle for something different? Do you have the degree of financial security for the future you'd always dreamed off? Did you sell out of the excitement you wanted in your career for the security of a steady paycheck? Are you willing to make changes?

I know the job market seems tough right now but maybe it's time to consider going back to school and taking small steps toward a different future.

Keep in mind that not all changes have to be centered around your office situation. Other changes you might consider would be a new place to live – even anew cityif that can be arranged. If you're going to make a clean break and start over and you need distance from your ex, there's no better way to get it than by leaving town.

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