Will I Get Her Back by Changing My Behavior, FAQs

My reader asks "Will I get her back by changing my behavior?". Unfortunately, my reader didn't go into a lot of information about what his current behavior is, except to say he hasn't been handling it very well and his friends are just telling him to "Get over it".

But I can pretty much guess his behavior falls into 1 of 3 usual patterns. Before I go into those behaviors, I want you keep something in mind if you are trying to get a girl back. If you learn nothing else here, lock this one thing into your brain:

Your Mindset is Everything!

Let's talk a little about the 3 common behaviors following a break up.

Behavior 1
Thinking guilt or pity will bring her back. This dude has sent her enough flowers to keep the florists kid in college for the next year. He sends her a hundred texts a day, begging her to come back, they all go unanswered. He announces his undying love for her, that is ignored or worse, scorned. This behavior has no chance in hell of succeeding. This guy has no idea of the correct steps to take.

Behavior 2
Then there's the nutcase, who drives by her house a hundred times a day, shows up at her work or school and waits for her come out. He rings her phone endlessly. He's gung-ho, overly aggressive in his approach. Pretty soon his ex explodes all over him, then she completely ignores him...he's one mistake away from a restraining order.

Behavior 3
The total loser. This is the guy that cries all day, staring out the window hoping to see her drive up. He stares at the phone, begging it to ring and it be her. He keeps the stereo turned off because every damn song that plays reminds him of her. Yeah, she's gonna run right back to this broken, needy, shattered mess - uh not likely.

I hope you starting to see why mindset is so important. To get control of the relationship, you first must get control of yourself.

As long as you are asking "Will I get her back?", I can assume your mindset is all wrong. Just the tone of that question reeks of desperation, and that leaves your girl seeing you as weak, needy, and "clingy"...all very bad signals to be giving off.

Now, getting a girl back isn't all that difficult, if you maintain the proper mindset. You must have a positive outlook!

Come on man, you know she loved you once - And, Yes she is still watching. This is the very reason you can't be exhibiting any of the behaviors we talked about above. This is the time you have to put on your game face and exude confidence, even if you don't feel it right now.

The behaviors and actions you show right now will determine if you will get her back or not. Instead of the behaviors we talked about above, a few of the things you need to be working on are:

Confidence
Women admire a confident man. They desire someone who appears self-confident, decisive, and knows what he wants and how to get it. Women want to respect their man above all else.

Optimism
Lose the gloom and doom attitude if you want her back. Optimism is attractive to her, it makes her, and everyone, feel better about themselves. Women want a man that expects good things to be headed his way.

Happiness
Think about how you were before the break up. Were you happy? If not, if you were miserable - then trust me, she was miserable too. Depression, stress, a crappy attitude are all things that drag a relationship down. After all, the reason for being with someone is to be happy.

Working on those traits will get you started for now, use them and develop them! Take a long hard look at yourself, are you exhibiting one of the three behaviors, or are you showing your ex a confident, optimistic guy that is happy and fun to be around?

Stop asking "Will I get her back?" and start saying "I will get her back" by changing my attitude and having the proper mindset!

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How to Get My Ex Girlfriend – 5 Steps to get it back

Some people might say that there is no magic formula that will answer the question "How do get my ex girlfriend?" But many people are so eager to return to their former girlfriends.

In fact, people who said they had no magic spell right. But we have the closest thing to a spell that will make your ex girlfriend back if you put honesty, heart and mind in the formula. Consider these 5 steps to get your ex girlfriend.

Before the five steps that we recommend you look into your soul. Do you really want your ex girlfriend back with you? Do you still love your ex and you can not imagine the continuation of your life without it?

Remember the old sweet memories? Can you imagine another girl to replace his ex-girlfriend? Just answer these questions and if you feel you are determined then read on.

* First step: Ask yourself what makes it so special. Please contact her and tell her that he finally acknowledged his rare and unique beauty.

* Second step: Go back to the past. What really caused the rupture. If you believe that everything was her fault, it is necessary to continue. But if you think you've made some mistakes, accept responsibility and be willing to do whatever it takes to return to her.

* Third step: Identify your needs. When someone loses his girlfriend is almost certainly continue to dream about her imagined as a perfect God. We are all human beings have their shortcomings, needs, flaws and all we have to understand. Find what you really want in their man, what you really want a relationship. Be willing to meet your needs and desires.

* Step Four: Discover your true feelings. When you have the opportunity to speak with her again, start talking to her about general topics and issues for the future. Starting to go further into the conversation until you find that is open to answer your questions honestly. Ask her about her true feelings and if he can get back to you one day or not.

* Step Five: Focus on true love. If you intend to reunite with her, can fall into some of the most common mistakes in the past. If you focus on love can find a way to heal old wounds, broken hearts.

Lost your ex is a demanding task, but the rewards are many if you had true love in their hearts. Be sensitive to your needs. Give your love for some time and effort and will have certain success.

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Healing a Relationship - Guy Tips On Restoring A Relationship

If your relationship is on borderline between success and failure, then, you'll need a guy's advice. Your buddies may be there to support you, but, same as you, they probably don't have an idea about your situation. Continue reading to catch some tips on restoring your relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". The two phrases would be a waste if there is no sincerity within it. The beginning of healing your relationship would be being man enough to accept once weakness and mistakes.

A bunch of men see apologizing as a sign of weakness or defeat. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you come to think of it, the hardest part is to acknowledge ones mistakes and realizing you hurt someone special. It is quite troublesome to do. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but it is a proof of being a man.

In different ways, it is very easy to lay your feelings inside and refuse to admit you were wrong. Again, a very "courageous" thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. Keeping those feelings will never set you free. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. It may be painful but you have to face it to overcome it. That's the only option for you to attain peace within you.

If you want to rebuild your relationship, you have to acknowledge your part on the downfall of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

Actually, the woman never technically means to let him wash the dishes. What she really wants him to do was to help her out. She just wanted him to show his love by helping her to release some burdens within her.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending that you don't have idea with what your wife wants. Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. But men do really know what their wife wants. They just pretend not to know because pretending is much easier than helping.  It's selfish. Continuing such problem will lead to bigger one on the near future. Bottom line is, learn to appreciate your wife.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

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Will I Get Her Back by Fixing Her Problems, FAQs

Hi there, and welcome to another article in my FAQ's series. I received a letter from a reader asking "Will I get her back if I can fix [her problem/problems]. (Note - I won't share what my reader imagines "her problems" to be - they are not truly the issue for them anyway.) But the whole notion of fixing "anything", brings up a point I would like to expand on. Men and woman view issues vastly differently and a better understanding of these differences will help you get her back.

When I speak of the fundamental differences in men and women, I'm referring to how men and women differ in their thought process, how we communicate differently and the different ways we are attracted to in one another.

Typically females develop the creative side of their brain faster leading to enhanced feelings of love, communication and the importance of relationships. Yep, they like to cuddle more, feel love deeply and enjoy being taken care of.

While men develop the left side of the brain faster, the logical side. Which means we like to solve problems, build stuff, and figure stuff out. We like to fix shit! Our sense of value is based on producing results. Her sense of value is more based on "feeling".

One of women's biggest complaints is "You're always trying to change me". They want empathy and we offer solutions. We assume that if we can just fix them, or the problem, that it shows our love. Women most often just want us to sincerely listen to them.

As men we often hear "You don't listen"! Of course we aren't "really listening" we are busy trying to fix the dam problem.
Don't go about trying to get her back as something that needs "fixed", it won't work. She has to see you in a different light than she is seeing you now.

The things you value as important are not the same things she puts much value on. You have to understand she values love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship. Were you giving her these? Or were you trying to "fix" things instead?

She is not a broken screen door that needs repaired. When she is upset she doesn't necessarily expect you to "fix things" she just needs you to listen. Many arguments and fights can be avoided simply by listening to her.

Here's a quick example:

Bob has been really worried about getting a big promotion at work and has doing a few extra things at work and has been getting home a little late on occasion.

Tammy has had a bad day and barks at Bob when he arrives home late - again!

Bob is immediately offended because he knows how this promotion would cure many of their financial concerns and very logically explains this to her, again! He leaves it at that and assumes the issue has been "fixed". bob is a tad annoyed at her not appreciating the extra work he is doing....

Therefore,Bob never really heard what Tammy was really saying, and they end up bickering the evening away.

Let's play this out another way….

Bob arrives home, and when met with by an irritated Tammy, he stops and realizes that she is really saying something other than "you're late".

Bob realizes that he really has been neglecting Tammy because of work.

Bob: (giving Tammy a hug) Damn baby, I really have been spending too much time at work and not enough with you, I‘m sorry I‘m made you feel unappreciated!

Tammy (visually in a better mood already): Oh Bob, it's just that I miss you and I know you are trying really hard to get that promotion at work. Forget I said anything.

Bob: (looking sincerly into her eyes) No, I love you and you do as much as I do and I really do appreciate that. You mean everything to me.

Tammy: Awww, It's just that I had a really bad day, and no one appreciates me at work. I shouldn't take it out on you.

Bob: Baby, tell me what happened at work….

And they go on to have a meaningful conversation that leaves them feeling reconnected, instead of another night of arguing and bickering.

In summary, when asking "Will I  get her back" be aware of these differences when communicating about anything important. Remember the things that are important to her; love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship.

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How to Get Your Happily Ever After Back

In the beginning it was a lot like a fairy tale. You met your Prince Charming. You fell in love with him and he fell in love with you. It was a whirlwind courtship and you believed you both on your way to the storybook wedding you'd always dreamed of. Then, reality set in and happily ever after suddenly doesn't seem quite so certain.

You both still love each other. There's no doubt about that at all. In fact, love is the least of your worries. There's plenty of it to go around. The passion is still smoking hot too. A little too hot – at least when passions are high in the process of disagreeing. So, what is the problem that's taken you off course and what can you do to get your happily ever after back on track?

Write a Different Script

Work on this script together. The problem with happily ever after is that you've got two separate visions of exactly what that means coming into the picture – both of those visions are more than little bit unrealistic too. It's time for the two of you to have a long talk about what you expect from each other, what you'd like to get out of the relationship, and how you'd like to be treated.

Figure out which things you really need in a relationship, which things you'd like to have in a relationship but can be relatively happy without, and which things you can live without – provided that all your needs and some of your "wants" are being taken care of.

Decide on these things together and see how differently happily ever after turns out to be for both of you. Just make sure that you're both doing a little bit of giving and taking in the rewrite process.

Go for a Chance of Scenery

Sometimes, having the same old fights, discussions, arguments, and "make up" scenes in the same place can have a negative impact on the relationship. After a while it begins to feel like a repeat performance and a never-ending cycle.

It's time to break the cycle and get out of the rut. Something as simple as a change of scenery can often do the trick. When things start getting out of hand or you feel like you're beginning to lose a little of the spark and sizzle your relationship has always had before, then it's time to plan a little trip out of town.

I know budgets are tight these days and every penny counts. The last thing you want to do is add money problems on top of other contentious issues so start a little "get away" fund that you both contribute a small amount of money to each and every week.

If you both put $10 into the jar every week, it won't take long to have enough money for a weekend out of town. If you can hang on a little longer you should be able to manage a long weekend or a short vacation. The goal is to have funds available to travel when needed for the sake of recharging your relationship, after all.

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