Friday, October 28, 2011

How to Live With an Ex-Boyfriend When You Still Love Him

Not all relationships can come to an abrupt end just because they have ended. In today's world, where it can be incredibly hard to maintain a residence on your own, more and more couples rush into living together. When they break up, they get stuck living together for a while, because they cannot afford to just pick up and leave. Then, there is the added burden of having a lease that you may not be able to break. So, it is actually somewhat common for a couple to break up, yet still live together for a little while.

That in and of itself can be complicated enough. What if, you still love your ex boyfriend and you are still living together? That can be downright unbearable. While it certainly is not the most "ideal" situation, there are some things that you can do to make it less dramatic than it needs to be.

Here are a few tips if you are still living with an ex boyfriend and you still love him:

1) You have to maintain some boundaries.

It's one thing to still live in the same house or apartment. It's another thing to share the same bed together. If you are still in love with your ex boyfriend and you are living in the same quarters, then it is extremely important that you set some kind of boundaries. If you continue to sleep with him, not only are you going to stay attached, but you are also giving him kind of a "dream" like situation. He's got you at home, but he is not committed to you.

While it may be easy to get caught up in a weak moment, or a moment of passion, think about the consequences. If you let him know that even though you and him are a couple no more, that he can still reap the benefits, don't expect him to take your feelings too seriously.

2) You need to decide once and for all if you want to repair the relationship or find your way out.

At some point, if the two of you are broken up, one of you has to leave. You can't live together after breaking up forever. So, you really need to come to a point where you are either going to try your best to work things out with him or make a plan to get yourself out of this situation. If you continue to stay with him even though you are not "with" him, not only are you going to get messed up emotionally... you will also probably never fully move on.

If your decision is to leave altogether, then work hard on making arrangements. See if there is any family that you can stay with for a short time while you get back on your feet. Find a friend who may let you room with them for a while. If your decision is to work things out, then you need find a proven method to make him want the same thing. Whatever your decision is, you cannot look at the situation of living with your ex boyfriend as being permanent. Either you work things out or you leave.

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