Thursday, October 27, 2011

How do You Know it's Time to Move on After a Breakup?

After a breakup, your heart may be set on getting back together with your ex. In fact, your every waking thought for quite a while may be devoted to how to get your ex back. But sometimes, it just doesn't seem to work out for you no matter how hard you try. How do you know when it's time to accept defeat and try to convince your heart to move on after a breakup? How do you know there's just no hope?


That is one of the most difficult questions to ask yourself after a breakup. When you're convinced that there is still love left on both sides of the equation, it can feel like an impossible situation. You can't really convince your heart that it doesn't love someone all of a sudden. It takes time for the heart to move on even if the head feels like it's gotten the message already.


There's really only one time when you should really give up hope for making a relationship work. That's when you know, without a doubt that there isn't any love left there.


British pop singer Adele has a brilliant song out right now that addresses how things aren't over for her even though she knows and accepts that he's moved on. It's one of the most soulful and insightful songs on the subject of loss in a relationship.


The song is essentially a conversation with the man who got away and went on with his life. It discusses how she doesn't begrudge him his happiness. She only wants the best for him. But, she wants him to know that it's not over for her – at least not yet. There's a moment in the chorus that's just raw emotion. "Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

Those are powerful words and very true. And you know, if you're being completely honest with you, that the good that goes with loving someone like that is worth the pain when it doesn't work out – even when that pain feels suffocating. The more it hurts the more you know you've loved. 

In Adele's song, "Someone Like You," there was love left but it was one-sided. He had moved on with his life. He'd found another girl and gotten married. His dreams were coming true. That left her with a love that wasn't returned and the knowledge that it was time to move on.

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