Thursday, December 1, 2011

When Will the Emotional Roller Coaster Over Your Breakup End?

If you're like most people, you've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride since your breakup. It doesn't matter so much if you were the one who was dumped or the one who did the dumping. You're going to experience a wide range of highs and lows in the days and weeks following your breakup.

Unfortunately, there isn't a magic number of days after which your emotional state will suddenly find its inner sense of calm and life can return to pre-relationship status. There are too many variables and mitigating factors from one person to the next for that to happen. However, there are things you can do that will help you regain some sense of equilibrium and work on a smoother state of mind after your breakup takes place.


It's not just for fitness buffs and people on the path to greater enlightenment or in search of higher beings. Meditation is a great way to soothe rattled nerves and enhance feelings of calm. Meditation can even help lower blood pressure.

More importantly, it's an opportunity to really collect your thoughts and focus your energies towards more positive results in your life and in your relationships (now and in the future).

The great thing about meditation is that you can change your state of mind without turning to destructive things like alcohol and illegal drugs or prescribed medications that often have undesirable side effects. It also costs considerably less than spending hours on end dissecting your life in search of clarity with a counselor.


Writing is another, often overlooked but, effective method of finding inner peace and calm after an emotionally devastating breakup. You have a lot of thoughts and feelings floating around in your mind. There's nothing quite like putting them down on paper to get them out of your head.

If you've watched the Harry Potter movies you'll recall that Professor Dumbledore had a "pensive" where he would take threads or thoughts out of his mind and put them into the pensive.

Putting emotionally charged thoughts onto paper works a little like the pensive, but not quite. The difference is that you're able to remove them from the forefront of your mind when writing them down. The thoughts are still there, they just aren't as emotionally charged. It's a great way to avoid the rise and fall of emotions that come after a breakup. When you write them down you take away some of the power of these thoughts – that's why so many therapists recommend journaling to help people through the, sometimes, painful process of therapy and to facilitate faster healing.

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