You've read everything you could about how to get an ex boyfriend back, right? You've asked your friends their opinion on what the best approach to take is. Maybe you've tried the infamous "no-contact" rule in an attempt to woo him back. I'll bet you've even attempted to be his friend but nothing has worked. You're feeling overwhelmed with desperation, frustrated to the point of breaking down and overcome with sadness at the prospect of a life without the man you truly adore. Sounds about right, yes? Instead of wallowing in the negative, it's time to embrace it. Take for instance, the issue of an ex boyfriend who doesn't even want to be friends. You need to see that this is a positive step instead of a life changing one. You can actually use his decision to not be friends with you to draw him back to you in a romantic way.
Many women believe that unless they can get their ex boyfriend to be their platonic friend, their future isn't going to include a renewed romance. That's not necessarily the case at all. Although it can help to rebuild a connection if you two are friends, it can also establish a strong new bond that will be hard to break free from. If your ex boyfriend has always been the type of man who preferred male friends to female friends, you should see his reluctance to be your friend as a positive. He doesn't want you to be his friend for the simple reason that he isn't able to separate romantic feelings from friendship ones. You can use this knowledge to your advantage as you work to get him to want you as his girlfriend again.
Don't push to talk with him. If he's made it clear to you that his desire to not be friends also includes no interest in talking right now, respect that. Just because you two are no in contact at the moment, doesn't mean that the future can't be completely different. You should be using this time to focus on the woman you are as well as the potential partner that you can be to him.
Just because he has no desire to be friends, don't allow that to impact your friendships with those closest to him. If you became friendly with one of his guy friends, utilize that connection now. The same can be said if you grew close to his siblings or mother. Invite those people out to lunch and spend time with them. Make certain that they see you as a vibrant, fun and happy person. Obviously word will get back to your ex boyfriend and you want him to know that with or without him you're still the same woman he always knew.
By respecting his choice you are sending him a silent message that you respect him as a partner and a man. He'll come to see that as a very positive thing. He'll also continue to hear complimentary things about you from mutual friends and acquaintances that you both spend time with. This will show him that you're incredibly strong and emotionally mature.
Remember that the best advice you can follow after a break up is to nurture and protect your own heart first. Your ex boyfriend's decision not to be your friend doesn't necessarily have to dictate what your future together will be. For now, give him the space he needs, focus on your needs and enjoy mutual friends.
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