Relationship And Break Up Advice: Soul Mates Dating

Showing posts with label Soul Mates Dating. Show all posts

Saturday, December 3, 2011

What is the Best Way to Move on after a Breakup?

Moving on after a breakup is one of the hardest things many people will ever have to do. It's hard to consciously leave a large part of your life behind you and move on towards other things that are unknown and, perhaps, a little bit frightening. It's even harder to do this knowing that you're going to have to do this without the one person who has been your comfort and security for so long by your side.

There's no way to get around the fact that breakups are painful. You can't say a lot about the relationship if there isn't pain involved in its demise. But, they don't have to be consuming. Some people forget that while the breakup is the end of something wonderful in their lives, it is also a new beginning for something that has the potential to be equally wonderful. Here are a few things you can do to ease the transition.

Make a List

Oh yes, lists are fun – but only if you intend to follow through with them. This list is one you'll want to finish. It isn't a bucket list. It's not things you want to do before you die. It's things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because your ex wouldn't let you or didn't approve. It could be something like deep sea fishing, sky diving, or buying a motorcycle.

You want your list to be of the "Top 10 Things I Couldn't Do then but Want to do Now" or something along the lines, variety. The goal is to have 10 things on your list. They don't have to all be big expensive things. In fact, it's better if they aren't. You want them to be reasonably affordable but don't eliminate something that's really important just because it's a little on the pricey side. Part of the fun is coming up with a plan to save the money (second job, extra hours of work, etc.) to accomplish your goal.

You need at least 10 things that you really want to do but haven't ever been able to. Then you need to sit down and plan out a method to accomplish each and everything on your list.

Having goals and making plans is a critical step towards healing and moving on after a breakup. More importantly, it gives you something to look forward to and ten really big reasons to keep getting up in the morning and going about your day. As you get closer to reaching each and every one of your goals, your excitement is going to build and you'll find that you're getting back into enjoying the land of the living all over again.

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Monday, November 21, 2011

Healing a Relationship - Guy Tips On Restoring A Relationship

If your relationship is on borderline between success and failure, then, you'll need a guy's advice. Your buddies may be there to support you, but, same as you, they probably don't have an idea about your situation. Continue reading to catch some tips on restoring your relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". The two phrases would be a waste if there is no sincerity within it. The beginning of healing your relationship would be being man enough to accept once weakness and mistakes.

A bunch of men see apologizing as a sign of weakness or defeat. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you come to think of it, the hardest part is to acknowledge ones mistakes and realizing you hurt someone special. It is quite troublesome to do. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but it is a proof of being a man.

In different ways, it is very easy to lay your feelings inside and refuse to admit you were wrong. Again, a very "courageous" thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. Keeping those feelings will never set you free. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. It may be painful but you have to face it to overcome it. That's the only option for you to attain peace within you.

If you want to rebuild your relationship, you have to acknowledge your part on the downfall of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

Actually, the woman never technically means to let him wash the dishes. What she really wants him to do was to help her out. She just wanted him to show his love by helping her to release some burdens within her.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending that you don't have idea with what your wife wants. Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. But men do really know what their wife wants. They just pretend not to know because pretending is much easier than helping. It's selfish. Continuing such problem will lead to bigger one on the near future. Bottom line is, learn to appreciate your wife.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Does Your Ex Ignore Your Phone Calls? After You Use These Tricks Your Ex Won't Dare to Ignore You!

Do you want to stop a breakup? Have you and your lover broken up already, but you want to get your ex back? Do you feel lost and need some real tricks to get your partner back into your life? If you have answered yes to any of those, but you can't ever seem to get your ex to return your phone calls or talk to you, then these tricks will help you to pull your ex back super fast...

Step #1: Don't give your ex that much attention- Really, he/she doesn't deserve it just yet! Now, I say this, because any attention you give your ex now will only BACKFIRE! Yes, that's right! The reason for this is because he/she will end up taking you for granted. You will then be putting your ex on a pedestal, unknowingly, which means that any attempt you actually make to get your ex back will fail. Therefore give some space, and actually don't even dare be afraid to even ignore your ex.

Step #2: Send your ex an SMS after some time- After you have given your ex the needed space, send your ex an SMS. The reason you should send an SMS, versus meeting in real life or calling your ex, is because he/she will actually read it. Whereas, if you were to call they could ignroe you, or simply turn there phone off. So, send this message:

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you were right about the break up. It has really made a huge difference in my life now, and I am doing a lot of things now that I never would have done otherwise. So many exciting things, and guess what"

When you end the text off abruptly, by saying "...and guess what", this will instantly pull your ex in to find out exactly what it is that you wanted to say. He/she will not be able to resist their curiosity now, and will be calling you back shortly.

Warning: Your Ex Is Very Near To Having Sex With Someone Else Soon... If you do not take action now, your ex will be lost forever to someone else! I am about to share with you the secret way to get your ex crawling back to you instantly; no matter how bad the situation is. No more ignoring, no more games; from this point on your life will never be the same.

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Saturday, November 12, 2011

Your Girl Left You for Another Guy, How to Get Her Back

There may be a misconception that men are tough, and experiencing a break up is no big deal, it happens and you just move on. But the fact is it does bother them just as it would any woman.

Also it can be a big blow to your ego if your girl left you for another guy. Regardless, you have found you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend and now are looking for ways to get her back.

Before you make that commitment to find a way to get her back, take a moment to make sure this is what you really want. A person's emotions can get the better of them and cause them to make wrong decisions. Make sure that getting back your ex girlfriend is what is best for you.

If you are not 100 percent sure about what you want, perhaps you should see other women to help you gauge your feelings. If you find yourself not thinking about your ex when you are with someone else, that may clue you that it's time to move on.

So now we will assume you decide to get her back. The first thing you need to do is figure out why she left you in the first place. Why would she leave you for another guy?

By understanding what happened between the two of you, your job of getting her back will be easier. Whatever you discover, learn from it and make improvements in yourself if that is what it takes. Could it be he has something you don't? What makes him so special over you? This would be something else you could look into.

Before you go head first into trying to get your ex back, take some time off to settle down. If you are upset over the break up you are only going to make things worse. You also should give your ex some time to think over her situation, she may realize she made a mistake and contact you making your job easier.

When you undertake getting her back keep calm and collective. Do not overdo trying to contact her, let her think you are doing ok on your own and are not desperate for her. Learn to be a good communicator so you can make your points clearly understood without making her avoid you.

Take things one step at a time and be respectful of her, her family and friends. You are trying to make a good impression on anyone that may reflect this back to your ex so she can see some positive things about you.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Learn How To Push Your Ex Boyfriend's Hot Buttons - Have Him Chasing You Again

Everyone has emotional hot buttons. But you will get different reactions depending on which ones you push. When it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back it is vital to push the right ones. If the man you want back is still ignoring you and pulling farther away, you are pushing the wrong buttons. You need to learn which ones to push if you want your ex boyfriend to chase you again.

Men, and especially young men take great satisfaction in thinking women can't resist them. When you run after youe ex boyfriend and tell him you cannot live without him, you are building his ego. You are making him feel he is so great that you can't resist him. He also knows if he comes back, you will not treat him like a love God, so why should he come back?

Your ex boyfriend might even get the idea of seeing if other women will be able to resist him and he will start dating others. The danger when he starts dating others is, he might find someone he can't resist and you will be left out in the cold. The way to prevent him straying forever is to make him feel that he can't live without you. That is only a matter of using male psychology to push the right emotional hot buttons.

Since the actions you have been taking to get your ex boyfriend back haven't worked it should make sense to try opposite actions. instead of trying to stay close to him, put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Instead of telling him you want him back and can't live without him, you have to make him think you no longer care for him. This will begin to push his hot buttons in the right way.

By showing your ex boyfriend you can live with out him, you will appear to be the strong independent girl you were when he met you. This will immediately spark his attention. By putting distance between you, it will allow him to experience his life without you. By not sitting around home and being seen with your friends out having fun, your ex will see he might be losing you for good.

Your new actions will be pushing your ex boyfriend's hot buttons in the right way. Male psychology will tell you that men always want what they can't have and men fall in love from a distance. The longer he is without you, the more desirable to him you will become. Your ex boyfriend will wake up at night thinking he has heard your voice or your laugh and feel how much he misses you.

Then he will begin to imagine things. He will think of you being in the arms of another man and it will make him desperate to have you back. When your ex boyfriend becomes desperate to have you back, he will start chasing you again. All of this can happen when you learn how to push his emotional hot buttons the right way.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Will She Ever Talk to Me Again? Handling an Ex Girlfriend Who Ignores You

You and the woman you love aren't together anymore. You wish it was different, don't you? Of course you do. You adore her and your life feels incomplete since the break up. It's been a challenge but you've held out hope that one day things will turn around and she'll decide that she can't live without you. Unfortunately, things haven't gone down that path yet. Instead, your ex girlfriend has taken to ignoring you. Perhaps you've called her and are always greeted by her voicemail or maybe she just never returns your text messages. Regardless, it's become painfully obvious to you that she's stopped all contact. You're now left wondering if she'll ever talk to you again. The answer actually has just as much to do with your actions as her choice. You can do things now that will ensure you two get past this rough patch so you get to a place where communication feels comfortable and calm again.

Regardless of how dim things seem at the moment there's always a chance you can turn things back in your favor with your ex. Many women pull back emotionally after a break up simply to protect their heart. Women often feel things at a much deeper level than men do and because of that they need space to process the break up, even if it was their idea initially. That is likely the reason your ex girlfriend has now stopped speaking with you or answering your text messages. She just needs some time to catch her breath. You must give her that if you want any type of relationship in the future with her, whether that is friends or more.

It's obviously hurtful when you realize that your ex girlfriend wants little to do with you right now. Your male pride is bound to kick in and that can manifest itself in many ways. You may decide that you refuse to be ignored so you chase after her incessantly trying to get her to pay you even the slightest bit of attention. Perhaps you're more subtle and you get a friend to talk with her about you with the hopes that they'll be able to convince your ex that you're the only man in the world for her.

This is the time in your broken relationship when you must disengage yourself emotionally from your ex girlfriend. You have to take on the view that even though you aren't on speaking terms now, it's temporary and the future will hold something new. Once you let her go, she'll sense it immediately and it will impact her in a positive way.

By giving her time and allowing her the chance to experience her life on her own, you'll be demonstrating several things to her. You'll not only be showing her that you respect her need for time to herself but you'll also be sending a very clear message that you need some time too.

Don't fall into a pattern of thinking that suggests that you need to fix your broken relationship right this very minute. If your ex girlfriend is ignoring you, she's not emotionally ready to deal with you. Stop pushing and start focusing on yourself. In time, her feelings will settle and she'll be ready to open up to the idea of talking again. Patience is your best friend right now so lean on it as much as you can.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Falling in and out of love

Falling in and out of love.

Most couples may find themselves at some time in their relationship struggling with anger, shock, despair and sadness. Some are newlyweds who can't understand how they have dived from the heights of love into a morass of conflict. Others have been together for many years and lament that they have nothing in common any more, they end up leading a disappointed co-existence enduring being together for the sake of the children.

So why does this happen?

Some theorists believe that we all begin life in a state of relaxed joyful bliss. If our caretakers are attuned to our needs the feelings of aliveness and well being are sustained - we remain whole. But even in the best of circumstances our parents are not perfect and every unmet need causes fear and pain and as very small children we have no idea how to stop it and restore a feeling of safety. As a response we adapt primitive coping mechanisms ranging from constant crying to get attention to withdrawing emotionally and denying that we even have needs. Meanwhile throughout our childhood we are also being socialized, moulded by our caretakers and communities to fit into society. We learn what to do to gain love and acceptance. We repress and disown parts of ourselves that society finds unacceptable or unlovable.

When we fall in love we believe that we have found that sense of joyful aliveness again. Suddenly we have someone who really makes us feel whole, we feel sexier, cleverer, funnier more giving etc. and we feel safe.

When we marry or move in together things often start to change. We discover that our partner has qualities that we don't like and that they are different from what we thought they were. Disillusionment can gradually turn to anger. The power struggle has begun. What is going on? You have found someone who is unqualified (at the moment) to give you the love you want and to meet your needs as you had wished.

We all think we have freedom of choice when we are choosing a partner but our unconscious has its own agenda. Our sub-conscious has a compelling drive to repair the damage done in childhood as a result of unmet needs. The way it does that is to find a partner who can give us what our caretakers failed to provide. It looks for someone who carries all the positive AND negative traits of our caretakers. Although we consciously look for only the positive traits our sub conscious selects the negative as well seeking to heal those traits.

The image of 'the person who can make me whole again' is sometimes referred to as the Imago.

Another powerful part of our Imago is that we seek the qualities in ourselves that we lost in socialisation. If we are shy we may seek someone outgoing, if we are disorganised we look for someone organised etc Eventually our own feelings - our repressed exhuberance or anger are stirred. We are uncomfortable and criticise our partners for being too outgoing or too coldly rational.

What we need to understand and accept is that conflict is supposed to happen. This is as nature intended it. Conflict is a sign that the psyche is trying to survive to get its needs met and become whole.

Divorce does not solve the problems of relating to others.. We may get rid of our partners but we keep our problems taking them into the next relationship. Romantic love is supposed to end. The power struggle also is supposed to end. Regardless of what we believe, relationships are not born of love but of need.

How does couple counselling work?

The goal of couple counselling is to change the power struggle and set you on a path of real love. Many couples' problems are rooted in misunderstood, manipulated or avoided communications. Using the Imago dialogue you can learn to restructure the way you talk to each other.

We learn that whenever two people are involved each has their own reality. The reality of the other person needs to be understood and accepted but not made identical to our own.

The dialogue is turned into action and we can learn to give our partners what they need and not just what is easy to give. In a conscious relationship we agree to change to give our partner what they need and as we do that we heal our own painful experiences. In giving our partners what is hardest to give we have to bring our hidden selves into the light, owning and enlightening parts of ourselves. We stretch to conquer our fears and do what comes unnaturally.

Over the course of time as our partners demonstrate their love for us, and as they learn about and accept our hidden selves, our pain and self absorption diminishes. We restore our empathic feelings for our partners and see them for themselves and not merely as extensions of ourselves.

A conscious relationship is a spiritual path which leads us back to the feeling of joy and aliveness. We learn to express love as a daily behaviour and in large and small ways we stretch to give our partner what they need and we learn to love. This is not an easy and quick process but a positive journey.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Quick Ways to Get the Girl Back

You feel bad. You broke up with your girlfriend. One can read a silent question in your eyes: "how to get the girl back?".

Just sit, calm down, make your mind positive and think patiently about this problem.

First, you should understand what the cause for break-up was. Perhaps there was a quarrel, arose misunderstanding. Perhaps you could not find a compromise?

Here is the "root" answer to the question: "How to get the girl back?". Charismatic guy knows how to influence his beloved and light feeling with new force. You're not one of those guys? If you want to develop the necessary qualities when dealing with your beloved and resurrect her former love for you then you probably need to choose a good program. Now such programs are abundant on Internet. As the result of using such program you can become an infallible conqueror of ladies' hearts.

She does not pay proper attention to you: does not give a call, does not send SMS. Your pride is hurting. How could this happen? You were so white, so fluffy... You were making your best to show your love to her. But she did not appreciate it. Or maybe she already has another guy? Your life becomes a nightmare. You think: how to return the girl by any means. You dream to recapture it.

Think positively and separate your instincts and desires from your hurting self-esteem. You'll get a first answer to the question: "How to get the girl back?". Maybe it is not worth doing it at all? Ah?

Ok. You are firm with your decision: the girl has to be returned by any means. Then let's go on. If you're such stubborn then the relationships with the girl were good. You rested from her for a while and now you want to restore everything back. I am sure that she has the same wish deep inside her hearts.

The second point would be: never ask her to return. Do not cry into her shoulder and do not say that you are so bad without her. Cultivate your charisma. You're not a nonentity, and can always find someone else. If you're going to beg then she will understand that she can chit on you by any possible ways.

Subconsciously, any woman is seeking a man whom to obey. Show her that you are this man. Prove it to her: "I am pretty well without you". In a telephone conversation hint that you supposedly do not mind to be with her, but Mary, Nancy, Jenny are so lovely... You understand where I am? Push down on her woman's instinct of rivalry. The girl will fight for you.

The third answer to the question "how to get the girl back?" is: hell out of her sight at the best possible long-term (week, two or a month). In the meantime, made several crazy things: jump with a parachute, go to a distant city hitchhike, cast in the ad or the crowd. Change yourself. You can learn to draw, sing, and play the guitar. Establish more new friends. As the result you will get back to her with new qualities and you will leave behind a weak self-esteem. The girl will be pleasantly surprised, intrigued. She will begin to re-open you...

The fourth step on how to return the girl back would be your unexpected call after a long break. Call and explicitly name time and a meeting place. At the date be positive and cool. Keep a small distance, not rush to the girl. Let her think that you have met as friends. Gradually arrogance will leave her. That's the time of action: kiss her. Is she suspending? Confidently stand your ground. Now you can already say that your were bored. Say that you were looking for a girl better, but did not manage to find one. Make her a compliment, kiss and embrace her... Good luck to you in such difficult matter.

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